So, I love my boyfriend, but I feel like I’m meant to be with someone else. Like, its not just a crush. I’ve had an off and on relationship with someone for 6 or so years and we always find eachother somehow and it feels like we are eternally connected and I don’t know what to do.
I wish people who hurt us could just be erased from our memory. Just the person, not the act. That way you can still learn from it but you don’t end up crying after you see a picture of them even though its years later.
And maybe the next time you meet them, things could go differently.
(Best when read before or after listening to “I saw it on your keyboard” by HelloGoodbye)
“Nope.” Nick said to himself, staring at the back of a propped open laptop. “I came out for a beer. Get the beer, and go back in your room, Nick.” He took a deep breath and started toward the fridge, turning sharply once he came perpendicular with the coffee table. Why did it have to be THAT laptop? Any other laptop, and he could have got his beer and left it alone. But Jess’ laptop? Far too much temptation. He sat down on the couch on front of the black screen. Some lights were still blinking, indicating it was in sleep mode.
“Alright, Nick. You just weren’t meant to see,” He assured himself. “Beer. Room. GO.” He took a deep breath, paused, and moved the mouse. How could her resist? The anticipation mounted as he waited for the screen to come up. It could be anything from a cute kitten website (he hoped so), to hardcore porn (god please no) to, Nick smiled to himself, Cece’s recent swimsuit photoshoot.
The screen came up and showed…a half written email? Boring. Nick was about to close the laptop when he noticed his name in the contents of the message. He quickly looked around, making sure no one was in the apartment, and delved into the email.
The first part was about how Schmidt annoyed her, but could be really sweet sometimes, then how Winston could be childish, but always knew what to do, then how Nick could be…nice and kind? He reread his part 2 or 3 times, looking for something bad that had been said. He just stared, confused, at the screen. He wasn’t nice or kind. Hell, he had just broken 3 of Schmidt’s “Roommate Privacy Rules”. The end was what intrigued him the most though.
“…Sometimes I don’t know what to do with myself around him. I just wish I could work up the courage to tell him that I”
His chest swelled up every time he read that last partial sentence. Nick shook his head. No. It couldn’t happen. Roommates do not, and should not hook up. Everything would be weird. He tried and tried, but couldn’t get the idea out of his head. Fuck it. He liked Jess. Imagining life without her sucked. Smiling, Nick typed a couple of words to finish the sentence, and stared at them for a while. After a few moments, the sound of the door unlocking pulled him out of his trance. Nick pushed the laptop closed just in time for Jess to walk through the door.
“Hi Jess!” Nick nervously shouted, standing up suddenly and stumbling a little.
“Uh. Hi, Nick,” Jess responded, a little confused. Her eyes moved toward he laptop. “Were you using my computer?”
“What? No! Why would I use your computer? That’s ridiculous! I was just getting a beer. Obviously.”
“By the couch.”
“I wanted to, uh,” Nick panicked, “clear away the empty cans first.” He face-palmed in his mind. That was the most out of character excuse ever. She would never believe that.
“Okay,” Jess said, putting down her purse. Nick casually walked over to the kitchen and grabbed his beer, still in shock that she believed it.
“Alright. I’m gonna go drink this in my room,” Nick expressed, adamantly.
“Okay, Nick,” Jess smiled, confused, and sat down to finish her email. Once she heard his door close, she opened up her laptop, and immediately noticed a change at the end of her message.
The new part read: “love him like he loves me.”
Ending AB (can be prefaced with A or not):
She grinned, elated at the words
“Nick!” she closed the laptop as Nick’s head popped around the corner.
“I’m sorry, I just-” Nick started, but was cut off by Jess’ mouth on his. She pulled away and confessed, “that’s exactly what I was going to say.” Nick smiled and pulled her in for another kiss.
She closed her eyes and deleted the “love him” that Nick had written. A tear ran down her cheek as she wrote “can never be with him.”
Apparently I can’t bring anything into my own goddamn apartment anymore because its not practical or I’m not gonna use it immediately. Maybe I should just move out all my stuff. Then he’ll have enough goddamn room.
Here I am with a friend who needs a place to live. What do you know! We have an extra room. Boyfriend says no. It would be too crowded. Well, what if we move to a townhouse? Boyfriend says yeah that’d be okay then. Sweet! Lets move! Friend goes oh idk what I’m doing right now.
GODDAMN. I AM TRYING TO MAKE SHIT WORK FOR ALL OF US. Cant we just do what I want for once? :(